Dauntless
by Queen of Orb
Summary: When Kurosaki Karin died, many claimed at fault, but none more than Captain Hitsugaya Toushiro. After too many years of abiding by a promise, will he finally have enough or will he fall victim to one of Fate's mischievous games? HitsuKarin, IchiRuki.
1. Prologue: Awakening

**DAUNTLESS**

Summary:

Death is only the beginning of pain. Dead memories of the past continue to haunt those who remain. Some people are too driven with grief and loss that judgment blurs. When Kurosaki Karin died, many claimed at fault, but none more than Captain Hitsugaya Toushiro. After too many years of abiding by a promise, will he finally have enough or will he fall victim to one of Fate's mischievous games?

Disclaimer: Bleach ain't mine, story's mine.

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Prologue: Awakening

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It was dark.

Everywhere she looked there was no light, just endless, fathomless darkness.

She put her hands in front of her face, wiggling, waving, slapping her face with it even, but she didn't see her own hands, only felt the slight sting of pain on her cheeks. She bit her lip, drawing blood from it. It tasted metallic against her tongue.

It was timeless here, this world. She didn't know how long she'd been trapped in this lifeless realm, only knew of the sadness of isolation it brought her heart.

She walked towards nowhere in particular. It was just pure instinct, walking, that is. She didn't know where this direction she's heading leads to, she just wanted to get away from this world, from this eerie silence, from this empty realm of black.

She wanted to see light…even if just a little. It will give her hope, she supposed.

_Hope…_

Was there even a thing so pure in this empty, sad place?

There was nothing in this world, nothing at all. There was only her. Walking with no knowledge where she was going, she did this ceaselessly. This world of perpetual darkness housed only her soul and she longed for someone…anyone.

Imagine if you were the only person in a world devoid of light. Imagine not knowing who you are, imagine if there was no one there beside you. Think of a place where not a single breathing being lives except yours. Imagine not seeing even your face, not knowing how you look like. When the sun's light had scorched all life except yours, and you were crying out until your throat had gone dry and hoarse from all the yelling and craving for a single sound to respond yours. And there was nothing. Only dead silence answered your longing and screams.

Think of that loneliness.

Imagine that pain.

And think of how it would feel to have heard of a small grunt—tiny, distant and almost inaudible.

She ran towards the sound. Running fast, very fast, like all the life that was sucked out of her returned the instant she heard that faint, low roar. She searched frantically, yelling even though her throat hurt from every cry she released. But she did not care. The only thing that mattered to her was the sound. Her lips formed a wide grin while she searched, calling for the one who had growled. It was vicious in her ears, but she was not scared. There was someone there! After years, it seemed, of walking and shouting, calling for some other breathing creature, there was someone with her finally!

She heard it again, louder this time. She turned left, her feet bare yet no rocks assaulted it. This world she was in had polished grounds; she could almost feel nothing beside the feel of the cold smooth ground against the skin of her feet.

For the first time, she saw something.

She saw white and it was the most beautiful thing her eyes had ever laid unto.

In front of her was a great, _huge_ beast. Its fur was the color of snow, around its neck wrapped of longer ash-colored fur bellowing and curling in the wind. Just above its paws were furs of the same color too, moving like thin silk being whispered by flirtatious winds. The massive creature gazed down at her, its teeth taller than her, _much_ taller than her.

She walked towards it, eyes fixed on its face, unperturbed of the monster's dangerous monstrosity. Gold, menacing eyes regarded her with cold indifference. The great white beast—a combination of a fox and a wolf, she realized, was so, _so_ cruelly beautiful. It made no action of attacking her; it was just laying there, lucent buds of light emitted from it, circling its body.

_So beautiful…so dangerous…_

As she walked closer, she looked down and to her great astonishment, she saw her body. She blinked, tears dripping from her eyes, unto the lighted white ground. Her breath came in pants and she collapsed on the floor, laughing silently between tiny muffled sobs. _For the first time…_

Her heart soared with uncontrollable gladness that lifted her spirit above all that was dead in this place. _Gods, thank you so much…so, so much._

The giant creature growled. It was low, but she felt no worry at all. Twin rivers divided on her pale face and when she realized it flowing down her face, she wiped the tears roughly with her elbow. For some reason she could not fathom, she felt ashamed to be seen weak. She looked up, hearing the beast growl again. Its voice was distant even though it was just in front of her.

"What's wrong?" she asked, her voice cracking and her throat burning.

The beast looked like it was trying to talk to her. It rose and its full height intimidated her. She backed up a bit, trying to crane her neck to see its face. She could not, the creature was too big. The light spread then and it blinded her for a moment. She hadn't seen light in forever, that seeing it now was like a dream come true. Her eyes grew wide as she saw the beast make its way closer to her. She made no move to run away, inside her was a voice that told her she was safe. She was all right.

The beast rested in front of her, its head on the floor, gold eyes looking directly down at her. She saw glimpses of herself reflected from it. She could see her silhouette, tall and young. Her hair was as black as a raven's feathers—the color much like this world she lives in, tips just reaching her shoulder. She could not identify the color of her eyes though; the beast's eyes were just too far for her to see.

"Too long have I waited, child."

Her eyes grew wide and her jaw dropped. The beast's voice rang inside her, the sound a soothing, lazy growl that sounded almost relieved, satisfied, and proud even. It still sounded like a distant growled echo that almost made no sense, but she heard _his _words. His voice was a welcomed echo in this world of nothing. It lulled her soul, like a sweet, gentle caress. She felt _protected_ when in this beast's presence but confused as well as to why she felt so.

She wanted to respond, wanted to know what he had meant, but the world was enveloped by gusts of white glorious winds and a blinding light emerged that consumed all that was dark in this small world of hers.

And she was consumed by it as well.

XoX~

It could have been minutes, days, months or years even, when her mind woke up.

There were sounds now—blissful and content and joyous. She felt something prick at her heart as she heard it. There were no tears in her eyes, but her heart ached and rejoiced at the same time. It shed tears for her instead.

She could not open her eyes. She tried, _hard_, to open it. And yet she could not.

All around her were noises. A family's, she realized confusedly. One was that of a woman, gentle and loving. The other one was a man's, foolish, deep and booming with happiness. There was one that touched her heart most amongst them—a boy's. He was cooing a baby, his voice that of a proud older brother. She could almost imagine the little boy caressing his younger sibling's face as the infant cried relentlessly, an awed expression painted on his small face.

She could not tell if the baby was male or female, but her heart grew warm at the young boy's care for him—or her. Whoever the baby was must be very lucky.

Another cry cut through her thoughts—another baby's.

"Ah, Yuzu! Mommy, Yuzu's crying" whined the boy.

_Yuzu._

She felt no familiarity with the name, but there was an odd feeling inside her. It didn't feel foreign when she mouthed the name. It was a strange dream. She knew nothing of these people, yet why is it that she was dreaming of them?

"It's alright, Ichigo" the woman said gently, "you were like _them_ too when you were a baby. Babies cry a lot."

_So, the young boy's name was Ichigo. _She smiled as the world seemed to be disappearing in front of her. There were no sounds now, but she felt oddly alright with it_. _

_Strawberry…_what a girly name.

XoX~

_Cold…_

She was in a world of ice. The glaciers here were edgy peaks of cold pointed crystal and high, thick walls. The icy ground felt like thousands of cold needles against her bare feet, freezing it slowly and painfully. She could feel the temperature against her skin, her thin, dirty clothes useless against the torturous winds. She was so cold that her body was beginning to numb.

She climbed up towards higher ground, determined to get a view of this place. A way to get out she thought. Her feet felt like they'd been plunged into quicksand, heavy and numbing. Despite the ache though, she still climbed up.

It took a lot of time and enormous effort to climb the steep, slippery ice. Countless times had she lost footing, almost falling unto the bottomless dark voids underneath, narrowly avoiding death by an inch.

After what seemed to her as hours, she was finally on the top. She was astounded at the fact that she was still alive after so much torture. Her body was so cold and her teeth were chattering. Her lips had become an unpleasant tone of violet. Puffs of warm air came out her mouth rapidly and laboriously. Her cheeks were an unhealthy shade of red against her pale white skin. She looked down at her hands and her body trembled violently at the sight of the appalling frostbites. She can't feel her feet now, and she was too scared to look down and see its damage. Her hair had frosts in them, her brows, her lashes, her face, her arms, her legs.

She was so cold, she wanted to die.

Almost suddenly, she felt a small hand on her back. It felt so warm…oh so _warm and strong_. She leaned against the hand, feeling her body relax and melt against the warmth it gave her. Her body won't move, or rather, too tired to move. She wanted to face whoever was giving her the warmth. After all, after being continuously tormented by harsh whips of cold, menacing winds, any heat was a sumptuousness she clearly ached for.

She tried talking. She could not. Her throat was dry and it seems she couldn't talk at all. Left with no other options, she looked at the view in front of her. _Wow,_ she marveled, amazed. Canyons of ice decorated itself in the vast area, smooth and perfect giant sculptures of crystal clear solids. The sky above was very dark and cloudy, like those secretive nights brewing terrible storms. In the absence of light, the massive ice land was a sight to behold. It shined and flickered luminous blue, white and transparent crystals—like a land made out of diamonds. The lights seemed to dance, glowing and fading again and again.

She wondered if she'll ever get to see this place again—probably not.

She smiled—too small to be noticed—letting her eyes droop, ready for death to come. She was so tired.

"Karin" a small voice said from behind her. It sounded sad, she wondered why. It was with great struggle did she look over her shoulder slowly and painfully to look at a boy much smaller than her. He had snow white hair, his skin tan and his face was cast down the ice, not looking at her. Through his long wild fringe that was carried by the cold breezes, she could see long lashes of silver. Distractedly, she saw how the boy's white haori billowed against the winds and thought how good it would feel to have it around her body, to feel just a tiny bit warmer. Just a bit would be fine. "Karin"

She drew her brows together in worry. She tried to ask what he meant, but her voice had fled elsewhere. All that came out were bleary cackle of jumbled words even she did not understand. Her throat ached so much.

"Your name is Karin"

XoX~

She woke up with a start.

She blinked a few times. Her brows furrowed together in concentration and after a few failed attempts of trying to remember what she'd dreamt, scratched her head in defeat, frowning as she did so.

She sighed and studied her surroundings. She blinked again. And again and again.

"The hell?" It was the first words she'd uttered in the Spirit World, specifically in the 80th district of West Rukongai.

She cannot remember anything…only her name — _Karin._

XoX~

A/N: Good Lord! Titles are the most crucial dammit! I had opted with 'Destiny' at first but it's so lame I wanna cry TT_TT. So cliché right?(gross *gags*) Anyway, in thinking and thinking of what I would name this story, I've created over twenty something titles. Some of it are good and a lot of it were too cheesy(ugh) and just plain horrible. But, I settled with 'Dauntless'. It's kinda cool don't cha think? There's spunk in it too. Weeeeeeeeehhh

Moving on… **HI! NICE TO MEET CHA! **

It's been _wayyyyy_ too long since I've watched Bleach. I'm not much of a hard-core fan but I just _love_ the HitsuKarin pair! I ship them so hard, I started this fic! . by the way, I have forgotten many things, so I'd appreciate it if one good soul out there corrects me or answers my questions and talks to me too!

Question: what are those Hollows(?) that shoots ceros called? (Not the Menos, but the much smaller ones; I know I suck, but I need to know.) What are the differences between a Hollow and an Arrancar except their slightly better physical appearance(?) and better power? Do Arrancars still exist? Or was it the Espadas that were eradicated (tch, I'm so clueless man I'm ashamed)

I'd love to hear from you guys ^^.

Thanks for reading! Ciao!


	2. I: Blood-borne Power

A/N: We start _before_ Karin died. It'll take a few chapters before she dies.

Disclaimer: Bleach ain't mine.

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**...oOo...**

Chapter 1

**Blood-borne Power**

**...oOo...**

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Kurosaki Ichigo's head snapped sideways instantly when he felt the presence of countless malevolent spiritual pressures that can be identified easily as that of Hollows'. Behind him, Rukia released a gasp so quiet that it almost escaped his superior senses. The Senkaimon behind both of them had just closed when the reiatsu doubled its intensity.

In the back of his mind, Ichigo felt dread as he flashed step into the cold night, Rukia just behind him, keeping up with his abrupt and startling burst of speed. Building after building they landed at lightning speed, yet it seemed too slow for him. Zangetsu was at a ready, already on his grasp.

It was past two already, the sky a beautiful array of glinting diamonds against the blackness. The ground underneath shone the color of pure white. The town was a winter wonderland under the glow of the lamps on the roads and the beam of the moon.

Karakura was eerily quiet, oblivious to the danger of this cold wintry night. The silence was overwhelming Ichigo's senses, bringing out unwanted scenarios. He could tell Rukia was worried too as he chanced a glance at her. Her eyes shined, resembling hard and dark amethysts as the moon's light caught its color, standing out against her pale white face. A hand was at a ready on the hilt of her Sode no Shirayuki.

These were not weak Hollows on their midst.

Just as they were a few kilometers away from the source, an all too familiar reiatsu seemed to overpower amongst the countless vicious ones encircling the area. As it halted, the reiatsu seemed to scatter and settle in a five-mile radius. "No" Ichigo whispered, eyes widening and his heart beginning to thud violently. "Shit!" Ichigo exclaimed vehemently, alarm spreading through him as he recognized whose it was. He rushed forward in a speed that could almost par that of Soi Fon, his voice raining down dirty curses, echoing in the sleeping town below.

It took less time for him to hover over more than a dozen Hollows, a few knocked on the ground. The sight shouldn't have had surprised him, but it did. Standing inside a circle of mutilated, ugly beings of evil was his sister—Karin.

Both shinigami stared in utter astonishment as Karin held out a hand. Floating a few inches atop her palm were tendrils of raw reiatsu, curling and waving against pressure. It grew in volume as her face morphed into complete concentration. She doesn't seem to have noticed both of them as she built momentum and shot the small blue reiatsu on an unfortunate Hollow, disintegrating it upon contact. Karin panted slightly, releasing puffs of warm breath and suddenly, Rukia saw Ichigo make a move to go down the ground. She grabbed Ichigo's arm swiftly, finding herself exert more force against his strength. "Let me go Rukia!" he demanded desperately.

"Let her fight them" she said with stern gentleness. "Look at her."

And indeed, Karin was a sight to behold.

As four Hollows attacked her at the same time, she jumped and soared in the air, emitting ferocious spiritual energy in the atmosphere that took the breath out of Ichigo. The intensity was not alien to him for he had been in the company of strong Shinigami for years now. But what had alarmed him was that why _his_ little sister has such immense power in her.

Ichigo saw in utter disbelief as Karin kicked and punched the Hollows in their mask, concentrated on her fists and feet were deadly weapons of naked spiritual energy that crushed the surface of it, emitting hollered fury and cries of torture from her other-worldly adversaries. She was bloody now, but the fire in her eyes and the adrenaline running through her veins burned brighter than her wounds' pain. She took to the air again, the Hollows half of how many they used to be. The Hollows flew towards her in midair, attacking with deadly aim and both Ichigo and Rukia watched with horror-stricken awe as Karin so gracefully avoided each one with only small languid moves of her body.

It wasn't that they haven't seen a sight such as what they were both seeing. But this was _Karin_—this was no Shinigami. Sure, she'd killed a few Hollows before, but these weren't only one Hollow she was fighting and these weren't weak Hollows either, like what she'd been fighting and killing since years ago.

Ichigo wanted to help, seeing Karin's state. She was awfully wounded now, her blood spreading on her clothes and she was limping ever so slightly. But Rukia was right. This was Karin's fight, nobody else's. This was the unveiling of her prowess—to him and Rukia anyway. They were warriors and if he barged in now, it'd show he had no respect and trust in her strength. So he remained unmoving, observing from afar, clamping his raging emotions down. His heart beat rumbled against its cage and he could only stop himself from barging in because of Rukia's firm hold on his shoulder.

Ichigo watched as Karin's reiatsu rose and felt the air seemed to be heavier as violent breezes touched his skin. His eyes widened a fraction as he felt the gravity seem to double and he applied strength to remain airborne for he felt his body weigh a lot more. From afar, the winds around his sister seemed to thicken and glow. Something gathered on her palms and she merged it to become a huge, _huge_ ball of reiatsu the color of white and blue. Threads coming off it encircled her, floating like tresses in a wide vacuum of air. From where he was, Ichigo could see the coldness and silent intensity in Karin's face as she looked down on her enemies with eyes so harsh and frosty, her whole body surrounded by the whips of raging reiatsu so powerful and vast.

Finally she descended upon the foul creatures, bellowing a mighty battle cry that seemed to cut through the deafening silence as she finally released the huge orb unto her ill-fated preys.

Ichigo stared, openly gaping at the sight of the disintegrating Hollows as they screamed bloodcurdling howls of indignity and pain. She'd killed all with a single blast! Beside him, Rukia released a shaky breath she didn't know she was holding. "Oh dear gods" she breathed, "since when did she became this strong?"

Ichigo had known Karin was becoming stronger as she grew. He had felt so when he had lost his power during those seventeen months of isolation from all things unearthly. But he had never seen her in an actual battle before. He only knew that Urahara had been interested with his sister's growing strength and their father—damn him!—had permitted the former twelfth division captain to train Karin, to cultivate her talent the man said. He had been against it at first, experiencing firsthand the insanity of Urahara's training, but he knew he was wrong. Karin possessed an unlimited reiryoku much like his, less powerful yes, but overwhelmingly potent nonetheless. She needed to have someone teach her how to rein her leaking reiatsu, and that someone was definitely not him, seeing as he was still unable to leash his own. And without doubt, with lack of training she would be a tasty little human for all Hollows to share. He had held on to Urahara's promise to be more careful with his sister and Urahara be damned, he'd kill that ex-captain if the man tries to let his sister undergo what he went through.

All of sudden, as if on cue, Urahara appeared beside Ichigo and Rukia unnoticed. When he talked, both jumped, feeling chills run up their spine. "Brilliant, isn't she?"

She was—dangerously so.

After all, it had only been five weeks since Karin started _proper_ training.

~XoX~

Karin panted heavily. She was leaning on one withered tree in the park where she fought off the Hollows, drenched in her own sweat despite the cold, and her blood. She felt lightheaded, anytime now she'd collapse. Vaguely, she could hear the distant anxious voices of the Pluses in front of her. One was a fat old man, another was a pretty woman and lastly, a girl and a boy—twins, she had realized. She could not hear them, her senses temporarily damaged because of the powerful force she had released. Her body was numb and she knew she exerted too much; used too much of what her pathetic human body can only withstand.

She smirked, thinking of how Urahara would react if he realized she'd gone too far. He won't scold her; that she was sure, he was a sadist after all.

But anyway, she can't move a muscle at the moment. She slid slowly to sit on the snowy ground, hoping for rest as no strength remained. She looked down the ground, catching sight of the red amongst the white—her blood. It looked strangely fascinating she thought. She would have scoffed at her own ridiculousness if she had had the strength to, but that was even difficult to do. So she settled with closing her eyes.

The twins looked at her with puffy eyes, crying and sobbing as they called to her, their tones akin to horror and concern for her wellbeing. She wondered how they died and what's keeping their souls dwelling still in the living world. _They died too early_, she thought sadly, bitterly. Opening her eyes to look at them, she felt pity singe inside her. Indeed they were too young, too pure and they both held too bright a future for death to claim their lives at such early age.

How fragile lives are. It's too quick to break and too hard to create.

Sometimes she wondered what it'd feel to be dead. She had a few friends on the _'other side'_, but she never really bothered to ask what happens to the dead in the afterlife. The subject never really interested her much, or it would've just been because she didn't like knowing, or didn't like asking in general.

Thinking back, she hadn't seen much of them now—the Shinigami…

Ichi-nii was busy saving Soul Society's big fat ass again and had been gone for over a month now. Rukia-nee, last she heard had become a vice-captain of the Thirteenth Division of the Gotei Thirteen two years ago. She had achieved bankai too, which to what she'd heard was nearly impossible. Her brother's friends that used to come out of thin air, which she had grown accustomed to haven't been around lately. And Toushiro…well, she hadn't seen that kid in more than two years now.

Her train of thoughts was interrupted by the little boy's tugging on her bloody coat. "Nee-tan, are you okay?" he asked, looking up at her with tear stained cheeks.

She looked at him with half-lidded, tired eyes and sighed. "Yeah, I'm gonna be okay."

"But you're hurt!" interjected his twin, a cry that swelled Karin's heart. She wondered of how her own older brother felt whenever he protected both she and Yuzu when they were little. This was strangely reminiscent to those times, excluding the blood and monsters and all that craziness of course. And the fact that what she was defending are dead.

Back when their family's life hadn't been eaten by the dark secrets of the world.

"Nah, this ain't gonna hurt much in the next three days. Don't worry." She added with a dry chuckle, "I've had worse."

"Really?" the twins said together.

"Yes, really" she said, a smile tugging on her ever-scowling lips. Twins sometimes does that, huh? How adorable. "C'mon, stop crying."

It was a lie. She won't be okay in the next three days, she knew that much. Karin was beginning to feel the pain now, the numbness slowly leaving her body. She opened her jacket to cup her side. She winced as she made contact. A broken rib, a fractured and bloody ankle, bruises everywhere, an injured knee, awfully wounded fists and painful joints—overall, a body that desperately needs repair.

But all of these did not amount to how_ drained_ she felt.

Looking around so as to swerve her attention elsewhere, Karin was met by the destruction of the park. She frowned; she needed to get away from here before anyone noticed the craters. Then again, it was the dead of night, nobody sane enough would stroll the park. Nobody _sane._

But then, Urahara was never sane.

"Oya, you look…unflattering, Kurosaki-chan" he said, his grin hidden by his perpetual fan.

"Urahara-san" she nodded, acknowledging him. "Yeah, I look like shit. You don't have to look so pleased."

"My" he cried dramatically, "who said I was pleased?"

"Your face" she said flatly, faintly. She felt it hard to even talk now. What was wrong with her? "Anyway, I'm tired, so if you have any heart, please let me rest."

"Of course"

Urahara suddenly moved so fast, not even Karin saw him coming. He swiftly hit the back of her neck with the side of his palm and Karin's eyes widened before she collapsed, the last thing she saw were the twins looking at her in shock.

"My, my, such a reckless child you are Kurosaki-chan."

~XoX~

Rukia sat herself on the sleeping Karin's side. Ichigo was outside, talking to Urahara heatedly. Looking at Karin, she realized the young girl had grown a lot during her absence in over a year. At age fifteen, Karin was taller than most girls her age. _Karin is much taller than me now_, she thought sulkily. Rukia wondered if whether Karin was taller than Yuzu now. She probably was.

Underneath the blanket, Karin's body was wrapped in several places with gauzes over her terrible injuries. As the younger girl breathed out slowly a sigh, Rukia wondered what she was dreaming. In her slumber, Karin's face had softened. The infamous Kurosaki scowl that graced her features perpetually was nowhere to be seen. She looked different—serene, gentle. So unalike her usual self.

Although still as boyish as ever, Rukia was starting to notice the small changes in Karin now. In her younger years, the then eleven year old Karin would have preferred to burn her skin rather than wear a skirt. Two years later, she found herself looking at a thirteen year old Karin that had worn a school skirt. The thought brought her a small laughter.

Looking at the younger girl, Rukia thought of memories that almost seemed a lifetime ago and as she was lost to the road of remembrance, she failed to notice the footsteps coming to the room.

~XoX~

Ichigo slid the shoji doors open to find a wistfully smiling Rukia. He raised a bemused brow at her suddenly distant look. She blinked at him and dropped the smile, greeting him with the standard 'hey'.

He plopped himself down the other side of Karin, his scowl disappearing as an air of familial protectiveness hit him. Karin looked so peaceful that she almost looked dead. He scowled, hastily trashing that thought aside as quickly as it came. Oh, what the hell was he thinking? Anyone who has a single brain cell floating somewhere in their useless brain knows better than to tick Kurosaki Karin, he thought wryly.

But that was only one part of his mind talking.

The other one was a protective heap of precious sibling affection, writhing in rage inside as he watched his injured younger sister bleed.

It had been two days since Karin battled the Hollows. She hadn't woken in those two days and so anxiety and fear was starting to grip Ichigo's sanity. His contemplation brought his thoughts to Inoue. _Damn_, he cursed mentally, _why'd she have to have a vacation now of all times? _Karin's injuries would've healed in no time with her help. He frowned yet again, deeper this time, realizing he was blaming other people for his sister's injuries. Shaking his head, he kicked himself mentally.

But even though the body can be healed, he knew that the exhausted spirit inside can take longer in recovery.

"I'm sorry Ichigo"

He looked up, brows furrowing curiously. "What? Why?"

"For stopping you" she sighed. "I shouldn't have done that. She wouldn't be like this now if I didn't stop you."

"Rukia" he called in a tone that he used solely for her. She looked up at him with creased eyebrows. "If I'd been on her shoes then, I wouldn't have wanted help. I know Karin. She has a fat pride. She'd have kicked my ass if I'd intervened. You know how we are." Rukia smiled at him, grateful of his assurance. "'Sides," he continued, smirking. "It was great watching her kick those bastards' ass."

He sighed, pushing Karin's bangs off her wet forehead. He had never seen Karin so fragile. Suddenly, Karin's brows furrowed and she mumbled words incoherently. _A nightmare_. He patted her head affectionately, his worry showing on his face.

"She's going to be all right" Rukia's voice carried conviction, nodding at him. He had always felt reassured when it was Rukia's voice that secured belief in the assurance of something that unsettles him. As it always had, she did not disappoint. He gave her one of his rare genuine smile—a small tug on the corners of his lips, not a smirk, not a grin, but a smile, simple and plain and rare. Ichigo watched as Rukia caressed Karin's cheek, feeling fondness warm him. "She's a strong girl. She's like you." Rukia said the last statement gazing at him with a teasing smile. Ichigo rubbed the back of his neck and looked away. _Humble idiot_, Rukia thought.

He sighed heavily and raised his head. He watched as Rukia wiped Karin's sweating forehead. "Rukia?"

She grunted distractedly, acknowledging him.

"Should I…"

As his words hung unfinished, Rukia looked up at him. Her eyes were huge, a question in them. He was usually so open to her that realizing that he had trailed off might have awakened the seriousness in her. "Yes Ichigo?"

"I was just thinking. You know…about Gramp's offer."

"Oh" Rukia looked down at the sleeping girl in front of her. Her eyes were hazy hues of silently intense violets; distant as memories of Karin fighting off countless Hollows with all the might a young Kurosaki has clouded her irises. "This isn't like you."

He looked down. The seconds that ticked away precious time felt like an eternity to him. "I want to hear your opinion," he said, his voice small.

Rukia raised her head, "You are a human, Ichigo. You still have a life ahead of you."

"I know. It's just, people expect much from me. And I feel responsible and I don't know, I think…I think I want to. It's to prove my worth too."

"I know. But look at me Ichigo,-" he looked at her, "listen. You don't need to show them your worth, you've already done that. You've greatly surpassed the world's expectations. You've given everything there is. But will you have the courage to leave your family? Your sisters…I know how much you love them, how much you want to protect them. What about your friends here?" She looked at him with eyes so old and wise and deep, "You are young. You don't have to do it _now_; you can do it once everything here in the living world ends for you…Live your life. Grow old, okay?-" She bit her lip, clutching both her hands so tight, her white knuckles became even paler. "…Fall in love, have kids, live long. You have a good future ahead of you. _Live_."

_This had become my life since I've met you_, were the words that he left unsaid_. _Have a future? Psh! Garbage! _Fall in love_? What the hell, who was she kidding?

_Rukia_…

He forgot how old she was. _You are young_, she had said. But then, had someone as young as him suffered through what he had gone through? Yes, maybe his friends, but none of them underwent hell as much as he had. He didn't want to be seen young in Rukia's eyes!

When everything had all been for naught, times when they had lost beyond resurgence and he had been torn and broken, he had witnessed those eyes. The emotions in there weren't lost to him and he slowly hated her for whenever she looked at him the same way she was looking at him now.

He didn't want her to look at him like…like _that_! Like she was responsible of everything that has happened to him and she was secretly sorry for it! Like he was no more than a child whose innocence she had taken away! Whose hands she had dirtied! And even though it was true that she was the cause of his awakening that had resulted to so much more, he felt this life he had now suited him, was perfect for him.

She was the beginning of it all—this life of blood and wars, but he was grateful despite it all, for he had experienced hell and heaven with her and he couldn't have wished for anyone else to be beside him through it all.

For all that he hated Aizen for, there was one thing that the man had given him, something precious and sacred to him. It was Rukia and through her, with her, the chance to have a life—a world he considered his as much as it was hers. Aizen gave him a friend that meant so much, a friend he'd live and die for. And for that, he was grateful—so, so grateful indeed.

But whenever Rukia looked at him like that, something in him feels lost and frail and he hated her because he couldn't understand it, couldn't fathom why she was making him feel the way he was feeling now. She started making him confused of a lot of things. The feeling was like being abandoned in a way he couldn't understand. And he didn't know why, but it hurt like hell just thinking about it. It was a touch of cold fingers on his heart and as time passed, those fingers started squeezing it endlessly.

His eyes casted down the floor, feeling everything and nothing at the same time. He had only his sisters to worry for now. They were the only remaining ties that were stopping him from leaving the mortal world behind.

"They're growing already" he said, not looking at Rukia's face. He knew that at some point, he needed to _loosen up_ his reins. He need not let go, he just needed to guide them, letting them learn slowly.

He thought of Yuzu with a faint smile, the small, delicate, sweet girl who had stopped their family from crumbling when their mother died. When they all cried over their loss, she was the one who had cried so much but had been the strongest at heart. He thought of how Yuzu was able to bear the burden of having to take over their mother's role as a mere child. He admired that strength, respected it enormously. For he knew, they wouldn't have had survived without Yuzu's tending. Despite being the most delicate of the Kurosakis, she was the one who was strong enough to hold on to the belief that they can survive. And they did.

He thought of Karin who never cried—the one who promised to never shed a tear, the bravest of them all. The one who was so much like him, he thought proudly and a little smugly. He looked down at Karin, watching as she breathed. His face turned into a solemn frown, he never knew she'd come to be _this_ strong. "You said so yourself—Karin's strong."

Rukia looked at him with a tender gaze, comprehending what that look on his face meant.

"…very strong" he added grudgingly, glaring at Karin's unusually peaceful face. Rukia laughed silently before resuming wiping Karin's sweat.

~XoX~

Against the huge pearl that lit the world in a silvery glow, a door suddenly opened up in the dark sky. Two hell butterflies fluttered their wings out as two figures suddenly emerged from the open doors of the senkai gate. As the door slowly vanished, the figures' silhouettes were shadowed by the full moon. They remained airborne for a few moments, looking down the sleeping town.

If one looked extremely closer, they'd see the storm raging both shadows' eyes, as though memories were clouding it. As their robes flutter against the cold winds, one could see very well their sheathed blades.

But none can see them. No human could, except those who bear the gift or curse of sight—whichever one thinks of it.

The shorter silhouette gave a signal with a hand and the taller nodded and suddenly, they both disappeared.

On a small part of the town, in the Kurosaki household, one man sighed. "So now you're here for one of my daughters, huh? Joy."

It had been just ten days since Karin had fought off those Hollows and already, Isshin was nervous of Soul Society's prying.

~XoX~

A/N: Goodness gracious, that was a lot of angst, sorry!


End file.
